20 years to go

     I am again in Romania and it feels... almost right.
     I've been inactive for quite a bit- this past month wasn't easy at all and the reason is the World Junior Championship- the last one for me.
      I took the 5th place, though I was leading the tournament for some rounds. One may think that it was just another tournament- one of the so many others I've played- but it was a special tournament for me- one where many ideas, hopes and tries to prove myself met. There's no point of hidding my disappointment- anyone who understands a professional chess player can see it easily- I did my best at the time and though there might be some things I'd change now- I couldn't have done more.
     An important period of my life has just ended- 20 years have passed in no time at all and it's time for asking myself what's next. What do I want to do now? What is the plan? I am still not sure about the answers and a serious thinking is ahead. There are no hopes, no plans and no ideas, no things I want and nothing I want to try- but there will be... sooner or later. It depends only on me. In fact, who can know better than myself which direction is the right one for me?
     They say that the biggest mistake in chess is to have no plan- "It's better to have a bad plan than no plan at all." The only thing is that we're not talking only about chess here.
     I have about 2 and a half weeks of finding "the plan", of doing all the necessary calculation and estimating the final position after all the possible variations.
     Looking in retrospective- these 20 years were good. God, I'd be a liar if I'd say I'm not happy of the way I lived- it's just that so many "what if" attack me... though I guess there's nothing strange or out of common in this.
      What to say more?

      "There are twnety years to go
       And twenty ways to know..."




xoxo from Romania I guess ;)

Lifestyle changes

     There are things that one does voluntarily and things that come to life accidentally. Neither of them does lift the responsibility for the fethced consequences.
     Have you done anything because you thought that was the right thing to do at that time? Great! Have you done anything just because you wanted to do it even if you knew that it might had been wrong? Bad for you.      Anyways, there are consequences and I don't care about excuses like "I didn't do it on purpose".
     Everyone has the right to make a mistake one time, but done it 2 times- it's no longer a mistake- it's a choice. I can deal with mistakes, but I don't see the point to deal with lifestyle choices that I don't like. If I don't like a lifestyle I simply stop dealing with it and I change everything.
     The time for 180 degrees changes has come!