Thursday, 30 June 2022

Summer Night Thoughts

Bydgoszcz, Poland
It is late evening in Poland.

Have been playing a women's round robin tournament for the last week in a city I've never heard of before- Bydgoszcz. It's a little but nice, clean and green city. Have been surprised to hear a lot of different languages while walking around the centre.

It has been impossibly hot in the last few days and it's been a challenge to just move around from the hotel to the playing hall and back. The results are fine so far- 1 win, 5 draws. It is a free day tomorrow and then 3 more rounds to go... It is interesting how all the participants here are very friendly with one another, but once the games begin- chess recognizes no friendship, well, at least women's chess...

Perhaps it is the heat's fault that I felt the need to suddenly resurrect my blog. It's not like I felt I had anything smart or important to say, it is perhaps an urge similar to the one Firouzja felt last night when playing bullet until 6 am. 'Bad' habits die hard. 

A lemonade by my side, which I wish was wine gives me a judgmental look, like I'm the most illogical person on earth. "This blog again! What for?". The nice thing about these kind of conversations is that I can end them whenever I please, with another sip- just like that. Not all the questions in life need to be answered. Alireza doesn't need to say why, we know better anyway. I look at the lemonade and I can almost hear it saying "Discipline. DISCIPLINE." 

I have missed listening to my favorite songs on a dangerously high volume (God bless the headphones!) while just typing whatever crosses my mind. It makes me feel free- like chess does. There are no moves I can't make- there might be a price, I might lose, or win or make a draw, but afterall- it's just a game. "A game which your life is about!"- naughty lemonade... Continuing my line of thoughts, I have recently felt that losing a game is nothing compared to losing your house, your loved ones, your freedom, your rights... 

Luckily we don't have to ask anyone's permission when making a move on the board and in this hot summer night I just want to wish you to look at your lives as at a board where nobody restricts you and there are no prices to be paid but your egos.

"Time to sleep?" For once, the lemonade is right, which doesn't mean I will listen to it or spare it because justice and good reasoning dissolves in the heat of late summer nights. The world acts crazy and it's a disease there are no vaccines against. Luckily, I am a philosopher only when I drink lemonades which I wish were wine. On a regular day, I am Irina- chess player, author, daughter, sister, friend and traveler. 

Cheers to resurrections!