One day of insanity

     I think what is the point in everything sometimes. What is the point of living? One can lose so easily all he cares about- that can hurt. It must hurt even more to lose yourself- not having any control over yourself-not being in charge of your own life or moreover- over your behaviour; losing my mind- that's  my worst nightmare.
     I pity insane people, but in the same time I think that living might be better, or let's say "easier" for them. They do and say  only what they feel at that moment- not carrying what others would think about them. I guess it is very difficult for the ones who surround them, but if to look at everything only from the "insane man" point of view- that's not such a bad life afterall.
     What if there is nothing after death? Nothing would matter then.
     I wish I would have a wonder switch- one that I could use when I'd want to turn off feelings and to block thoughts.
     I don't want to think about these things, but I can't do anything about it.

     If only I could live one day doing whatever I want, knowing that no one will remember anything about me the next morning!
     Well, as long as it's impossible- I'll try to keep myself together for as long as possible and pray to God- or Whoever is up there to give me just one day of insanity.