Mirror,mirror,tell me,please...

   It's interesting how our perspective of life changes from day to day. One day you're completely broken and you don't want to live,the other day you feel like the World is at your feet. Why are we,the human kind, so unstable? It's much easier for animals-got food,still alive- why to worry? I think it's about the people who surround us,the people that we care about. One day we feel so fuc*ing guilty to dissapoint them, the other day we can't get enough appreciation from them. It's not fair! Why our emotional condition should depend on someone else than ourselves? I guess it's because our closest persons pursued the technique of playing the "guilty card",like we don't care enough anyways... Speaking frankly,there's another point too- we all want to be loved, that's why our failures are more painful if they are seen by others too... I think that the best strategy for gaining some emotional stability is to admit that you can't be the best in everything. Show me a person who succeeded in all the aspects of life: familly,society,wealth,health,job,happiness and who is still loved by everyone!
  So,don't care that much about what other people think about you, just learn to like what you see in the mirror!

Early morning writting

   I'm kind of tired of lossing nights.I think this year I must have set a sort of record. Parties,travelling, having troubles to fall asleep,being worried...
   I imagine myself living in the mountains,all by myself with no worries,sleeping until midday,having a big cup of cappuccino when waking up ,reading a nice book. It calms me down and makes me think that it will be possible some day. I think I should be more reasonable,to start to think about my health and not to compromise my integrity by travelling like an insane. I think that I play too many tournaments... I've made my calendar for the next year and I already have 9 "must play" tournaments,that's without the summer ones. Maybe I should go on a holiday all the June.It sounds really nice,oh,but I completely forgot about my Uni exams...Damn it! :)))
   The conclusion is that I should definetely go on a holliday,at some point... ;)

Rock and roll,baby!

   I've decided to make a post about my favourite bands/singers :)
   Well,it's difficult to make a top,but I'll try ;)

1. Eminem ("Lose yourself" my favorite by far)
2. Nirvana ("Where did you sleep last night", "The man who sold the world")
3. Eric Clapton ("Layla", "Change the world")
4. Bon Jovi  ("You give love a bad name", "It's my life" & co )
5. Vama Veche ("18 ani","Omul Plajei", "Vara asta", "Dorinta")
6. Guns N' Rosses ("November Rain" -too goooooood )
7. Dire Straits ("Moneeeeeey for nothing"- I simply looooove it ;)
8. Duran Duran ("What happens tomorrow"," Sweet dreams"-though I like more the Marylin Manson version)
9. Florence & The Machine ("Shake it out", "Spectrum")
10. Deep Purple (" Anya", "Smooooooke on the water", "Anyone's daughter")

11. Nickelback ("Rockstar")
12. Sting ("Russians", "Desert rose","Englishman in NY", "Shape of my heart")
13. Awolnation ("Sail")
14. The Black Keys ( "Lonely boy", "Too afraid to love"- biiiiiiiiiig like ;)
15. AC/DC -of couuuurse- it should have been upper I guess-anyways,I love all their songs
16.Phil Collins ("Easy lover", "One more night")
17. Kiss ("Heaven's on fire")
18. CCR ("Bad Moon Rising")
19. Depeche Mode -again,should have been much higher ("Personal Jessus"-You're owwwwn,peeeeerrsonal ;)))
20. Whitesnake ("Crying in the rain","Is this love")
21. Zemfira ("Beskonechnosti")
22. DDT ("Eto vse")
23. Timur Shaov ("Hippie")

There are more bands like Oasis,Aerosmith,Cranberries and a lot of singers whom I've missed for sure,but this is the most listened music on my Ipod ;)

Chess week-end in Germany

   Here I am, packing again, this time- heading to Germany, for Bundesliga.
   The funny thing is that my big suitcase is still unpacked (from Mamaia).Well, I don't need it now, I'll take just a handbaggage,because I'll be back on Monday.

   We'll have to play against the strongest team- "Baden-Baden" this week-end. The match will take part in Karlsruhe. I checked the weather there and there won't be more than 18 degrees and it's going to rain almost every day. Speaking frankly, I really miss this kind of weather :)

   I have just realized that my 19th birthday is closer and closer- one month and one week left :) I hope I'll be in Iasi to celebrate it!

   I will have some courses at the University after comming from Bundesliga and  then I will leave for a tournament in France- "Cap d'Agde". Here's the official site: http://www.capechecs.com/  I haven't been to France since 2005,when I played in Saint-Louis and the WYCC in Belfort. I also visited Paris that time. I really liked Paris,though I still regret that I didn't go to Disney Land!

2005, visiting Notre Dame de Paris with my mum :)

 It's a childhood dream that still needs to come true at some point... Maybe next year ;) 

Friends 4ever

   It is very important to have real friends, friends on whom you can count whatever happens... I can say that I'm lucky enough to have some ;) The real friends are those who will forgive you when you're angry and when you are mean,the real friends won't judge you,no matter what you've done... Real friends are real friends.
   I want to thank them for a wonderful day today,thx for enccouraging me and for bringing back my motivation and my love for life!

CHESS,CHess,chess...

   I have just read an interview of Garry Kasparov,where he said that it's possible to be a very good chess player only when chess=life. Hanging out during tournaments,having all kind of worries-it's not proffessional. I think he's completely right,if to analyse my best and my worst results so far, I had my best results when being totally focused on chess,not thinking about exams,men or anything else. It's really difficult to be like this when you have so many temptations. I mean that it's almost impossible to say "no" to a friend whom you haven't seen for months when he asks you to hang out. Maybe the solution is to have more "not chess players friends",so not to have with whom to hang out during tournaments,but come on, how's that possible? There must be some balance I guess,not no get too distracted and in the same time not to go all mad about chess ;) I want to be still sane in 20 years :P

Is this love?

   I am wondering if there really exist people incapable of love. It's just that sometimes you can't do anything all the day long because you love,or viceversa, you feel really inspired to do great things when you're in love. I see people who seem not to care about anything every day and that makes me think that love is just a fantasy,a halucination,a disease that can be treated.
   I always thought that my only love is chess and I would never betray it, but sometimes,it simply doesn't seem right not to let anyone too close,even with the risk of regreting it.