Nude

     Do you have the courage to take off all your clothes and to let everyone see each and every inch of you?
     No, you don't. No one has it and I don't have this courage either.Why? The answer is simple- because we don't like too many things about ourselves.

     Some hate their nose because it made them find out too many unwanted things. It might be operated- the shape can be changed, but when you'll feel that smell again-you'll remember everything. Not every device is erasable.
     Some hate their belly because it gave birth to things they're ashamed of. They can cut it- they can make it look flater, but giving birth can never be undone.
     Some hate their back because they've turned it too many times to the loved once. You can make it look like the J.Lo one's and you can offer the others a better view- but it wouldn't matter as long as that's your back they see and not your face.
     Some hate their eyes because they have caught too many mendacious glances. They can start wearing glasses- but it'll just give them a better view.
     One can change everything about himself. One could look perfect, but he'll never be able to accept it because we don't see ourselves through our eyes, we see ourselves only through the eyes of the others and trust me- the others always wear glasses when it comes to looking at you.

Lifestyle changes

     There are things that one does voluntarily and things that come to life accidentally. Neither of them does lift the responsibility for the fethced consequences.
     Have you done anything because you thought that was the right thing to do at that time? Great! Have you done anything just because you wanted to do it even if you knew that it might had been wrong? Bad for you.      Anyways, there are consequences and I don't care about excuses like "I didn't do it on purpose".
     Everyone has the right to make a mistake one time, but done it 2 times- it's no longer a mistake- it's a choice. I can deal with mistakes, but I don't see the point to deal with lifestyle choices that I don't like. If I don't like a lifestyle I simply stop dealing with it and I change everything.
     The time for 180 degrees changes has come!

Genius conductor!

Edward Yudenich

     I can't help being amazed by all the talented kids that appear all over the World!
     My lateset dicover is the 8 years old orchestra conductor-Edward Yudenich from Uzbekistan. I accidentally saw him on TV and then looked for videos with him on Youtube. He's simply great! It's inspiring to see that there are so many bright minds. He's like our Magnus, only in music :D

Enjoy!

Matrioshka Doll

     While I was wondering what should I write about tonight I read my April's horoscope and couldn't stop laughing :))) "The scorpio will get easily bored. No,no- that's good news! Just keep being bored for a 3-4 weeks period - that will be good for you. You want some extreme- better keep yourself under control and postpone it". Ok, too late for that- I guess I'll just have to challenge my fate while visiting Thailand :P
     I have only 2 more days at home and then a tremendous 2 months will start! I am going to play the U20 Nationals from 1-12 of April, then I fly to Thailand, visiting London on my way there. I will play in Pattaya, from the 14th to the 21st of April and I will visit Bangkok for a few days afterwards. I will have a little break from chess and then I'll play the EICC in Poland from the 5th of May! I am very excited about all of these.
     I've been thinking about many things lately, as I started to jog again ;)
     How long does it take for getting to know a person- for like knowing what that person thinks about right now? Each of us thinks that he knows exactly why a person did something or why he behaved one way or another. We tag the people so easily- "smart-ass","liar","victim", "fool", "naive", "jerk", "tricky", "jealous", "kind", "hot", "smoker", "nerd","hard-worker". I tag people as well and I thought that I'm so good at doing it. I understood how wrong I was when I heard about some tags I got- tags I've been given from people who I thought knew me. We can never really know anyone.
     Do you know the Russian doll- "matrioshka"- it's a little "doll-shaped" statuette- you open it and find another statuette inside the 1st one, then another one and so on. You never know how many statuettes are there if you don't read the original label. Too bad that people don't come with the manufacturer's label. You open one statuette and you live with it never knowing that there are 4 other completely different dolls inside...
     How many statuettes does your "matrioshka" have?
   

Psycho killer

     A day, a week, a month, a year, a decade passes by and finally- it all ends.

     Does it really matter if that's been a week or a decade? Does it change anything? It doesn't- there's an end to everything and there's a pretty big probability that there doesn't even exist a something after the end.

     We kill our days with doubts, regrets, self-destruction, useless pain until there's left nothing worth killing.

     I kill the days, the weeks, the months, the years and maybe the decades because there are dimples worth seeing, because there are holding hands worth admiring and there are glances worth being felt.

     We're all psycho killers because we kill feelings, dreams and hopes every day. 

     We believe that we kill something because it's the right thing to do, but the murderers believe the same thing. Why are we better than the murderers?

     They all know that the biggest sin is the suicide- what about murdering our own feelings, dreams and hopes? Isn't it a suicide too?

      And who's the psycho killer after all- the guy who makes audiences because he's responsible of one massacre or you- the one responsible for mass slaughters of dreams, hopes, feelings and the one who commits suicides every day of his living?

Rosé & miniskirt

     What kind of statement does a women wearing a miniskirt send to the World?

     There are the slangy ones- the ones who just want to draw the attention on them; there are the rebel ones- who want to show to everyone that they can; there are the feminists- who wear them in order to show that they dare and they do it for them- not for men; finally- there are the ones who just want a guy to see their legs and not their brain- they do it on purpose.
     I do it on purpose from time to time. Men are afraid of women with brain- they think they're the only ones who know how to use it. I just rise my shoulders and put my miniskirt.
     Well- that was just the introduction, so you would understand why I've prefered a Rosé wine today. It is very special and it feels light and aristocratic- at least for me. It is either semi-sparkling or sparkling and  it goes very nice with some cheese or a desert- mostly, like the champagne. I always associate Rosé with the old French movies where the main actress drinks some Rosé champagne from the bottle and dances on the bed.

     What do you see when a nice girl wearing a miniskirt passes by? Don't tell me that it makes you want a Rosé :P

Happy BDay, Elena!

     It's my sister's 15th birthday today and I'd like to wish her all the best in the World!

     Dear Lencic, you're so amazing- I trully admire you! I can't help wondering where you've got so much talent and passion in everything you do! You're a hell of a young lady and I am so grateful that I've got you! You're my very best friend and I just want you to be happy.

Love you lots!

Stage a play!

     Have you ever had a week, a month or a year which you've lived like it's someone else's life? Have you ever lived not recognizing yourself?
     You look into the mirror and the reflection looks exactly like you, but you feel nothing like yourself. It's like it's you and it's your own life- but you feel like a character from a play. It's like the time before you fall asleep- you imagine you can be whoever you'd like and it slowly turns into a night dream; the difference is that now- it's real deal- you are that character whose life you've lived a time of a night dream-the only difference is that it usually lasts "a bit" longer.
     The thing is that it never depends on the actors if the play is a tragedy, a comedy, a drama, or whatever- the script is well known- it had already been  written, read and played a hundred times. What will be the end? Everyone who has read the script knows- but there are still the ones who haven't read any scripts- they are the new actors- the ones who have their big "premier night"- the one in which they decide weather they're a comedy, a tragedy or a drama actors.
     Who am I? I hate comedies so it leaves only 2 choices.



     Have you ever thought what kind of actor are you?

Friday Night

     Simply staying home and waiting to go to bed on a Friday night means you're getting old- that's what Facebook has just enlighten me with.
     I could disagree- having the choice of going out or going to bed and choosing the 2nd one just means you're getting wiser. What would be the consequences of a party Friday? Hangovers, unwanted phone numbers, weird marks on your clothes, a killed Saturday, all kind of questions with no answers, lost things, stories you don't remember about yourself... Haha! I would rather listen to the new album of Zemfira for now enjoying a cup of tea. It's not like I'm always like this, but the next morning after an outgoing Friday night I know I would have wished I had listened to Zemfira. Here it is:



     I went on a nice walk the other day. I enjoy having long walks by myself and thinking. I got some interesting ideas for the blog- you'll see them really soon!
     Until then, here's my favourite park in Chisinau:

     Wish you all a  nice weekend!

     

The great terror

    It's almost a week since I've returned from Astana and I already miss playing.
    I will go on a hiking trip with some friends in a week and I'll play  the U20 Nationals afterwards. It's going to be nice- my sister will come too- I will terrorize her with chess :))) hihihi Can't wait!
    Then Thailand follows! I have just read on Wikipedia that April is the hottest month in central Thailand- 35-38 C degrees. Maybe I should have read it before deciding weather to go there or not :))) Well, but what is a little heat for a 20 yo chess player- one extra excuse for blunders :P (God forbid them!)
     I will visit London on my way to Bangkok- will have some 12 spare hours- so that will make one more new country this year :D
     Making plans is very nice when no worries at all. That's what I like about being home, actually that's what I like about being 19 :D

Roller skating- one of my childhood's favourite activities-you can't imagine how my knees looked like back then

xoxo from Chisinau

   

Every pixel

     Another Sunday morning- another lonely Sunday morning. No, I'm lying- it's not lonely- I'm imprisoned with my thoughts.
     I'm surrounded by so many people, I can do so many things, I can go to so many places and still- all I want is us. My slipping to his image is so addictive... Why I looked at him in that moment? That was the second I lost myself. I was cautious before- I kept my eyes closed and nothing could get to me. Looking is dangerous- I know that now, but still- all I want to do is to see that image again. So many possibilities, temptations, addictions and this is the one I've fallen into? Who would think...
     Oh these Sunday mornings! So many Sundays and all I want is just that- that one Sunday. What was so special about it- the image I have with me now and the one I crave for seeing again.
     I don't know weather one should keep her eyes closed- that would be so much easier. Even when we look - we don't see things the most of the time, but when we do- we get these images- these images that we store into our mind's album and we just carry them on and admire them from time to time getting lost into each and every pixel.

Cristina Foisor in India

     A very interesting event is to start today, in Bhubaneswar- India.

     It is a 12 players, women's round robin- as you can see above a very strong one, with Elisabeth Paehtz, Elina Danielyan, Lilit Mkrtchian, Olga Girya, Qi Guo, Mary Ann Gomes, Eesha Karavade, Nisha Mohota, Rout Padmini, Swati Ghate, Kiran Manisha Mohanty. Our 1st board from the World Teams - Cristina Foisor is among the particiapants. Here's the official site of the event: http://odishachess.com/#

   

Cristina Foisor

       I wish Cristina the best of luck!

Nowhere like home

     It's been a very nice day. I am not sure if there is anything to like about Moldova, but like my sister told me today "It's not like I like Moldova, but I love it".
     It was a lovely, sunny day and I decided to go out- I went for a coffee and a salad in the town. I've spent some hours enjoying them and thinking about stuff. I get a "comfort" feeling every time I come home lately. It's not like I don't enjoy myself in Iasi, but I can feel a hole inside myself sometimes- one which makes me very unconfident and depressive when there. It's like there's nothing and no one for me there.
     You know, I would do everything for the ones I love- I could give away anything for them. I used to think that I don't need anyone in order to be happy. I thought that success would be more than enough, but it's nothing to be successful if you don't have with whom to share it. It's so fulfilling to have someone whom to make proud and whom to dissappoint. I understand how awesome is to have someone who cares enough in order to criticize you now.
     I feel a light in my soul- a warming one and I, I just want to keep it there for as long as possible and to share it with the ones who help me maintaining it.

One way or another

     It's good to be back :D
     I am happy and calm and relaxed and full of hope and ready to work again! It feels so good to have a nice tournament from time to time :))) You know, +20 Elo points can't be found on the street like 20 lei :)))
     This tournament has proved to me once again that I can achieve whatever I want. It is so weird that right before the Women's World Team Ch. I played the Romanian Individual Ch. and the result was quite opposite- I finished only the 5th and with -1 Elo points. One may ask "Why?" That's a good question. I think that my playing depends on too many "non-chess" factors and that's the mistake. It's not like I want all of these factors to influence me- I just still haven't learned how not to. I think that it's a matter of time and constantly working on myself and on my "thoughts autodiscipline".
     All in all, I am happy to be in Chisinau again and to share my happiness with the closest to me people.

P.S. If you were wondering what was on my "lucky playlist" in Astana, here are the 5 songs I listened to day by day:

've taken my shot at this tournament!

xoxo from Chisinau ;)

A Knight or a Queen?

     The tournament has finished for me.
     I made a draw today. It's such a pity I didn't even get a chance to play- she found each and every only moves. I guess I should have played some other variation... Well, but after all, who could have known? I am happy with my result- 5p out of 8, with 3 wins, 1 loss and 4 draws. It's the first tournament in the last half year when I raise my Elo. I've made another IM norm here- I already have 4 of them, but I still haven't got 2400 Elo in order to receive the title.
     Here you can see my today's game:

     I had a very nice game yesterday, against Nana Dzagnidze. I think that it's one of the best games I have ever played! Here it is:

    As about our today's match with the USA- the girls are still playing and their positions looked nice the last time I've checked. I hope we'll win the match :)

My lucky ritual in this tournament- listening to my Ipod before the games

     Back to watch the games!

xoxo from Astana ;)

"The most peaceful team"

     Yet another 2-2... We fully deserve the nickname we've got in this tournament "The most peaceful team"- 2 losses and 5 draws out of 7 matches. What to say? We hoped to win today- but we were lucky to make an equal match- we had chances only to lose.
     I had an uneventful game- despite my big time advantage- I had to settle for a draw. I think I shouldn't have sacrificed the pawn...

     We wore the "Romania" t-shirts today, but it seems that nothing is enough in this tournament for us to win a match...

Carmen Voicu-Jagodzinsky vs Natacha Benmesbah

Collas Silvia vs Luminita Cosma

Gergely Szabo, Carmen Voicu-Jagodzinsky,me, Luminita Cosma and Cristina Foisor

Cristina Foisor,me,Carmen Voicu-Jagodzinsky and Luminita Cosma

     We play against Georgia tomorrow- again a difficult match.

Keep your fingers crossed for us!

Round 6 in Astana

     The match has begun! I am sorry that I couldn't start the live chat earlier, as the internet went down in the whole hotel, due to the weather problems.
     Here are some photos I took at the beginning of the round:

Let's take a coffee!

Carmen Voicu-Jagodzinsky, Gergely Szabo and Alina l'Ami

Sweets and beverages in the relaxation room

Carmen Voicu-Jagodzinsky

Alina l'Ami

Luminita Cosma

Romania vs China

The playing hall

Tan Zhangyi- Luminita Cosma- draw

Shen Yang- Carmen Voicu-Jagodzinsky-draw

Zhukova Natalia vs Benmesbah Natacha

The Women's World Chess Champion- Anna Ushenina

Bela Khotenashvili vs Alexandra Kosteniuk

Salome Melia vs Olga Girya

Russia vs Georgia

Luminita Cosma vs Tan Zhongyi

Natacha Benmesbah of France

Shen Yang vs Carmen Voicu-Jagodzinsky

 Kaya Emel vs Davletbayeva Madina

Kubra Ozturk vs Dauletova Gulmira

Gulishkan Nakhbayeva- 1st board of  the Kazakhstan's team

Alina l'Ami vs Guo Qi ( the World Girls U20 Champion)

Mariya Muzychuk of Ukraine

Katerina Lahno vs Nino Maisuradze

Alisa Galliamova vs Lela Javakishvili

Valentina Gunina vs Nana Dzagnidze

India vs USA

Russia vs Georgia

Our charming official photographer- Anastasiya Karlovich

Here's the hall where one can watch the live games

... on this screen

      I went to the "Hanshatyr" comercial center afterwards- it's about 20 minutes to walk from our hotel. I passed through the "Alley of restaurants":

"Tre Kronor"- a Swedish restaurant

A Korean restaurant

Not sure, but I think it's a Turkish restaurant

And there's my destination...

Want to have a seat? :))

 It's got a very interesting arhitecture! You can judge by yourself:

     I had to walk by myself through the snowstorm- it wasn't either pleasant  or very warming- but what one doesn't do in order to satisfy his curiosity! All the efforts were more than worth it- I have never seen such a mall in my life!

A special carrousel that takes one to the very top of the mall

It seemed a bit scary to go there by myself, so I preferred to be a simple spectator

There was some kind of a little car that was spinning around the mall- I had a really nice ride!

     Two games have already finished- Carmen and Luminita made draws. Alina and Cristina are still playing. Let's watch the games and hope for better!

xoxo from Astana