Thursday, 26 June 2014

Gigantic Suitcase

     A great period will start for me soon, one which I can't wait to begin!
     I haven't played chess so much lately, my last tournament was somewhere in the middle of May... I was caught with lots of exams at University (don't mean to gloat- but I passed all of them and now-I'm officially in my last year of Uni  :D ).
     A difficult task is now to be solved- how to pack a suitcase for 2 months? :))) I will go to the EIWCC in Plovdiv on the 4th of July, then a little vacation in Greece, after that- Olympiad and Turkish League, and I will be back home in September :D  The difficult part about it is that the Olympiad will be held in Norway, Tromsø, where it's more an early spring than a real summer in August.
     I've really missed traveling non-stop and playing strong tournaments... I have missed my chess friends, I have missed the tournament atmosphere! I guess you can feel my enthusiasm about the forthcoming months :)
     All in all, I am very optimistic about everything and I am really thankful for the opportunity of having such an amazing life as a chess player!

xoxo from Chisinau ;)

Thursday, 19 June 2014

Rise from Ashes

     The change never comes easy.
     If one wants to become a different man, he should rip the old him into pieces and throw them to garbage. You can't become a new man saving in the same time the old you.
     We are all like phoenixes, each of us is capable of rising from our own ashes. The point is that no one burns himself, usually someone does it for us and though we see this someone as the biggest enemy, "someone" makes us the most precious gift one can receive- the chance to reinvent ourselves.
     The most difficult part is that sometimes there's no "someone" to burn you and you should do it by yourself, you should commit a crime against yourself in order to find the "phoenix effect". It takes a great deal of humanity to commit a crime and it takes all your inner's World power to commit it against yourself. Making this step, there's no way back and when left with nothing but a burning desert, well, it just hurts like hell. The fire kills each little part of  you step by step and there's a not so short time until it burns it all- the ideas, the anger, the memories...
     All you can do when at this point is to wait, to wait until the last wire that links you to "the old you" is burned and then you are free to write a new story about a new man.
     While waiting, thought I could try to choose the quill with which I'll write the story of.... , I still don't know about whom that story will be, but I hope I will eventually find it out.

xoxo from Desert :)

Tuesday, 17 June 2014

Feeling Mode

     Why do we have so many doubts about how we feel about something, when the only doubts we should have are about what we think about how we feel? Too complicated...
     When I felt bad- I felt bad and that's it. I can't convince myself that it wasn't so. I can't erase my feeling bad and I can't pretend it never happened (unfortunately).
      Every feeling has it's consequences, no matter if one likes it or not. I can not make myself feel differently than I do about anything and I seriously doubt that anyone can do it. It doesn't matter that I don't like the consequences of me feeling how I feel. All I can do is to try to think about this feeling and to try to understand it.
     What to do? Sometimes I wish I wasn't on the "feeling mode"...

P.S. Please, next time anyone will have the idea to make my "Feeling Mode" work hard, make sure I get a notification before.