The ever after

     All at once and never when you actually need it. Is it the basic principle of life?
     You wish to be alone and everyone keeps disturbing you, you want badly to talk to someone and there's no one seeming to care enough. We keep not saying what we want, maybe it would make it all easier- having no expectations from others and just telling them how you feel right now and what you really want. Here's the problem- "I want to be a child"- no one can  give it to  me; "I want not to care" - no one can give it to me either; " I want to be a champion"- no one... There will never be anyone who will make everything happen- you want something- do it by yourself. You want to be happy- be happy; you want to be loved- love yourself. Well, I might be a little subjective, but that's what we- humans are all about- we render.
      There used to be a sence, a goal, "the" truth- there's impossible, "so what" and "maybe" now. All these questions with no answer, all this people with no status- how to deal wiht it? The answer is so obvious- not to. You act like everything's fine, you make everyone believe you've got the answers and you burry it deep inside. You will start believing your lies at some point and it should give you the illusion of happinesss. I don't believe in happiness, I prefer not to - that'll mean there's an "I'm miserable" too...
      I believe in... What do I believe in? I don't believe in anything. What is there to believe in nowadays? The  higher purpose, the big epic love and happiness ever after, the life after death, the absolute power, karma?