Psycho killer

     A day, a week, a month, a year, a decade passes by and finally- it all ends.

     Does it really matter if that's been a week or a decade? Does it change anything? It doesn't- there's an end to everything and there's a pretty big probability that there doesn't even exist a something after the end.

     We kill our days with doubts, regrets, self-destruction, useless pain until there's left nothing worth killing.

     I kill the days, the weeks, the months, the years and maybe the decades because there are dimples worth seeing, because there are holding hands worth admiring and there are glances worth being felt.

     We're all psycho killers because we kill feelings, dreams and hopes every day. 

     We believe that we kill something because it's the right thing to do, but the murderers believe the same thing. Why are we better than the murderers?

     They all know that the biggest sin is the suicide- what about murdering our own feelings, dreams and hopes? Isn't it a suicide too?

      And who's the psycho killer after all- the guy who makes audiences because he's responsible of one massacre or you- the one responsible for mass slaughters of dreams, hopes, feelings and the one who commits suicides every day of his living?

Let's get married

     I've been watching a popular Russian TV-show the days I was home. It's called "Let's get married". The idea of this show is to create a couple. There's a man or a woman who seeks for a mate with some specifics. He or she posts his formular on the site of the show, so the other registered people could see it. He is scheduled a date to come to the show afterwards, where "three experienced women" helps him select one of the three pretendents who come after their attention got caught by the one who had posted the formular.
     As one could imagine, the most of the people who come are the ones who have troubles in the "relationship field". Why am I telling all of these? I've caught myself guessing the choice the "seeker" would make every time.
     As the show is broadcasted in the evening, my parents, my sister and me usually watch it all together, making bets on who's going to be chosen by the seeker. It was particularly funny last night, when the "three experienced women" recommended the 1st pretendent and my parents and sister were sure that the seeker would take their advice, while I was sure that the young woman would choose the 3rd man. My parents and my sister made a bet with me- the loser would have had to wash all the dishes (yeah, it was the "right after dinner" time). I was so satisfied when the lady chose the 3rd man... :)))
     It just seems that the seekers never make their choice being driven by what they feel, but exclusively by rationality. It turns out that I rock rationality, though I'm not sure if it's a good thing. Has the spontaneity died? Does it make me a "calculated" person?
     I don't want to be "the rationalist" for my whole life. I want a person in my life who would make me irrational.
     It's not too much to ask, is it?