A penny for your thoughts - Part 2

The Dolphin

A large window with a beautiful view over the Black Sea; the sun caressing the different shades of blue... My mood merges with the scenery, and I feel somewhat lightheaded and optimistic.

The tournament only starts tomorrow, so there’s a full afternoon to enjoy the beautiful weather and sudden lift in spirits. “Disfrutar la tarde” comes to my mind and I smile. Sea, sun and dreamy views in wintertime are some things I’ve grown to associate with Spain. One time, not so long ago, when I felt the outside cold sneaking into myself, I knew I needed to find a way of fighting against it. What better way of doing it than learning the warm language of sun, tapas and siesta? Right. I need to prolong my Duolingo streak first. Fifteen minutes later I feel content enough to go for a walk. Hm, is it “caminar”?

Eforie Nord is a Romanian coastal town and resort by the Black Sea. While it usually gets crowded during summer, its streets are almost empty now. Plenty of national tournaments have been organized here in the last few years.

I enjoy walking along the promenade with the wind playing with my hair and thoughts. Looking to the horizon, I can’t stop a familiar, worrying feeling creeping in. What is it? I feel ready for the tournament and eager to sit at the board again. I’m happy with my room and the nice weather is a pleasant bonus. While trying to get to the bottom of that feeling, I noticed passing by a restaurant with a beautiful terrasse where I had countless coffees and others with friends and family over the years. The place looks like it’s stuck in time. It hasn’t changed at all since the first time I was there. Was it 2000, 2001? Not sure about the exact timeline, I decided to go in, choosing the table with the best sea view. Ordering a cappuccino, I think of the time I sat in the exact same place and saw a dolphin playing in the pinks and oranges of a sunset a few years back. I remember feeling its joy like it was mine. The worrying feeling intensifies, and I don’t get it. Why?

My thoughts fly to those first years when I came to Eforie Nord as a child to participate in its traditional summer chess festival. The playing hall used to be just downstairs. I recall the joy I felt winning against a 2150 rated player for the first time and the huge ice cream I got as a reward after. Taking a sip of coffee, I also remember that time when, some years ago, I quit the tournament after only playing a few rounds. A small part of my heart broke and had to go to places more serene then. I realize there are so many things anchoring me to this place. The worrying feeling takes over completely and I feel a nod in my throat. I know now.

It was 2 years ago. I was playing in the Nationals here when the nearby war has started. Its coldness made place for itself inside me and there are no languages that can make it go away.

Perhaps, if I look over the sea, towards the horizon, I could even see it. Afterall, it’s just some 300 miles away. "Don’t think about it! Don’t think about it? Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it…", echoes in my head like a mantra.

Trying to take another sip of coffee, I realize my cup is empty.

I wonder where the dolphin is.

(To be continued)

Silence, Hypocrisy and Disgust

Today's post will be about something which has been bothering me for quite a while already. I have been trying to convince myself that I shouldn't write it, that it's not my business, that I'll possibly lose opportunities and invitations to tournaments because of it, but I simply can't keep silencing this voice inside my head.

It is about the situation in women's chess, the war between Russia and Ukraine, FIDE and top women players.

To start with the beginning, I have been thinking a lot on which is my position towards players from Russia competing on the international arena since the war between Russia and Ukraine has begun and I have come to the conclusion that as long as they are playing under a neutral flag- I don't have a problem with that. Some say that there should be a sort of anti-war declaration signed by them but my views are not as polarized because I've realized that there might be situations where it can be dangerous for one's life, their families or loved ones and not everyone is ready to take these risks. I have tried to imagine myself in this situation and I've understood that there might be circumstances under which I might have also stayed silent.

However, in my view, there is a big difference between staying silent and participating in tournaments organized by recognized war instigators (to put it mildly) like Sergey Karjakin. These tournaments looked very much like war propaganda events and it saddened me a lot to see players whom I previously respected or even admired participating there. To my knowledge, there where two such tournaments which were covered extensively by the Russian media and which makes it very easy to access information and photos from these events just by entering some key words in any searching engine. For example, here is a link to a press release from the official site of one of the events: https://chessstars.ru/press-release .

Here, I will speak only about the women players who participated there. They are: World #4 Aleksandra Goryachkina, World #6 Kateryna Lagno- both from Russia and World #21 Bibisara Assaubayeva from Kazakhstan- all very strong and accomplished chess players who are well known in the chess world. 

I am not sure what was the message they wanted to send to their fans by participating there, getting photographed smiling next to Sergey Karjakin and shaking hands with him. What I understood was that they endorse in one way or another Karjakin's activity. It shocked me and the more I thought on it- the more it kept upsetting me. 

I expected the same reaction from most of my colleagues and they indeed felt the same way when we discussed it privately. 

Like it or not- it is the right of each individual to choose for themselves and it looked to me like those players did.

However, I was utterly surprised when FIDE (the International Chess Federation) not only allowed those players to participate in official FIDE events like the World Rapid & Blitz Championships and the Women's FIDE Grand Prix and the FIDE Women's Candidates but also promoted those players as personalities and models for the youngsters to look up to.

Later, the Ukrainian Muzychuk sisters withdrew from the FIDE Women's Grand Prix tournaments so that the same players could play and even the location of the last leg of the FIDE Women's Grand Prix was changed last minute from Poland to Cyprus in order to accommodate the same players who participated in the "Karjakin tournaments".

What conclusion should these things make one draw?

My conclusion was that FIDE has no problem with any of the upper mentioned facts. Is it ignorance or hypocrisy or something else? Every official in FIDE who had any involvement in these decisions knows better.

"Sport is out of politics." That's the main argument which Russian sportsmen, officials and fans use when some countries deny the participation of Russian athletes in their events. I can see why one would say that. If that is the case, how participating in tournaments organized by war instigators and smiling alongside them, shaking hands with them is in any way "out of politics"? Perhaps the FIDE officials have an answer for that too.

Photo source: https://twitter.com/PHChess/status/1662405612074926080

Photo of the "Chess Stars 2022" participants, held in Moscow- 29 Sept -5 Oct 2022

As for me, I am disgusted every time I read any news about those players, about FIDE promoting their images as those of great personalities and sportspeople and last, but not least, I am disgusted by the silence of most of my colleagues and about my being silent about it up until now.

I believe that by ignoring all of these- we are a part of it too, and honestly- I don't like what I see in the mirror after all these months of silence.

For those of you who feel the same way- is this really the community you want to be a part of?

What would be the solution? I am not a lawyer- I expected FIDE to have a solution by now and I am deeply disheartened that it's not the case. 

I want to continue playing and promoting chess but it has become very difficult to do so when the situation is the one I've described. I have a hard time finding reasons to keep being a part of FIDE and the chess world under these circumstances. What about you?

Do you think that what FIDE is doing is right?

The Chess Terror

This post has been inspired by the current 'War' book I'm reading.

Add a 2h drive on winding roads and the acute necessity to think of something catchy in order not to make the person sitting next to me on the bus never ever want to have a Greek breakfast again and here it is... I will try to bring to life these (I hope) entertaining reflections.

The whole thing started with me deciding I am in need to go for a hike. Where else if not to Agia Irini's Gorge, right? But why walk (or rather crawl through) all those km?

There were about 2 days from the 'deciding' to the 'make it happen' point, days which proved to have a very demanding schedule... Sunbathing sessions were succeeded by the frappe drinking and the sea swims, being only interrupted from time to time by the usual chess player's 'praise yourself' thoughts after gaining 10 Elo points. It has started to develop into a dangerous situation. Wouldn't want to go for a swim and feel I'm Phelps or Poseidon in search of his trident... In order to reset the brain and come back to Earth I thought a physical demanding activity like a hike would be the perfect solution.

When the time came, I woke up at 6,30 am, had a good breakfast and went to catch the bus to Agia Irini's Gorge. 7,30 am- the bus started its engines and took off. My backpack thought it was time for the adventure to begin and flew directly into my neighbor's lap... A very friendly gaze landed on me, no matter of the "Sorry", "My fault" and all the "Signomi" I was trying to cover myself with... What a promising start! Twenty minutes later the bus driver started to show us his Formula 1 skills on mountain roads... Greek Yoghurt, Greek cookies, Greek coffee, Greek.... F***! I remembered instantly all I had for breakfast, cursing myself, the driver, the neighbor and everyone I could only think of! 7,50 am - it meant I had to bare it for one more hour... Well, "I must think of something so interesting that I would forget about my being sick", the brain suggested while trying to understand why it doesn't recall any Greek swearing, just to align it nicely with the yogurt and coffee...

My relationship with 'the brain' is quite tough, but it always throughs me a life vest in time of great need! This time was no exception. 

Aleppo, Sarajevo, Afghanistan, Congo... Will my computer suddenly shut down if I continue this line of thinking? Let's see...

What is it all about? I've been reading a book written by a surgeon who volunteered in war zones for decades. He was describing some of his most memorable experiences. The content is what one would expect it to be, with tears coming to the eyes on too many occasions. What is there to be added?

"Being a professional chess player is not much different than being in a war zone. It's being a soldier, a rebel, a martyr and a surgeon altogether" , the brain threw at me... What could I say to that? Hm... 

The soldier fights for an idea, for a belief. What does a chess player do? Quite the same, trying to prove again and again his idea or even enforce some concept. The sense of duty? We want to prove our families, coaches, friends that all they've done for us wasn't in vain, some willing to take their efforts to great lengths just not to let down 'the others'. The discipline? How else can one be a performer, win games and titles? Weapons? Openings, Endgames, Tactics, Engines, Strategy... The list can go on.

PTSD! Really? We constantly live with it, from tournament to tournament. You lose the last game, lose money, invitations… You go home and think of it over and over again, have nightmares about the winning position you ruined, about that opponent who took 'everything' away from you and think "what if"... Ask a player about his best win. He will name one or two. Ask him of his most painful loss and you'll hear a full list.

"Ok, I get it, I am a chess player, a soldier - a little Formula 1 driving can't take me down!". "Don't interrupt me, I am not done", the brain angrily answers to my bewilderment...

The rebel fights against a system. The Carlsbad, the Nimzo-Indian? He often is poorly armed but compensates with his great belief that he is fighting for the 'right' side. Haven't you ever played a game against a better prepared, higher rated opponent but had 'the feeling' that you're better anyway? How is that any different? The rebel throws self made bombs at his enemies. Novelties! He shoots from AK 47s. The looking straight into your opponent's eyes?

"You plan on taking down the driver or the neighbor perhaps... Whatever, just stop this nonsense!". "You stop the nonsense, and learn smth useful for once!" the brain commended.

The martyr sacrifices himself for a cause. He endures terrible pain or looking from the other side, he wears explosive vests to cause terror. A player continues playing for his team after 3 consecutive loses, after 5... How is that different from wearing the vest?   

"You want to take down the whole bus?"

The surgeon. "How is that any like being a chess player?". You shoot, throw grenades at your enemy. He's done, he surrenders. It's not enough though. The doctor removes the shrapnel from the wound and sews it accurately, he reattaches the limbs... He makes you believe it's all behind and you can move on, perhaps come to war again. After throwing novelties at your opponent, shooting him with your gaze and destroying him, you have to accurately sew his wounds, making him feel it was just a battle he lost and he has a chance in the next one. He must think it was your only weapon, the last novelty, he must fall into the trap again...

"Agia Irini's Gorge!!!!", the driver shout at us.