D, My Friend

10 000 feet above the ground, I gaze through the window to only see dark clouds and little lights somewhere far... Everything seems so insignificant from above...

A Russian ballad starts playing in my headphones; it’s a sad but somewhat hopeful one. The lyrics are touching and I feel tears building up slowly in my eyes. The heart starts trembling and no strange faces I make can stop those tears... But it’s dark, the lights are far, I can let it be...

 

There are so many things I like that’ve started to make me feel this way lately, since...

While at a nice beach, while playing some English Attack variation, while hearing a joke, while having a beer with friends, while reading a nice poem, while thinking what opening to choose late in the night, while feeling the Spanish sun...

I can only give in to this sadness, I don’t even want to fight it. I just try to pick up crumbles from the so many memories and remember every bit of them, trying to relive them again, and again, and...

Some bad turbulences start. It was stormy when the plane took off.

 I am not scared, I haven’t been for a long while now... I have had a good life and death is not something I fear of. I think of it as of an always present companion. Every now and then, when I feel like having a heart full conversation and there are no friends around, we talk. It can be calming, even enlightening sometimes... Maybe we’ve even become friends? Perhaps... I never judge you, we have understanding and respect, I enjoy our conversations- isn’t it the recipe for friendship?

We sometimes briefly touch each other- as a sign of mutual appreciation. There are times I even feel like hugging you, just to let you know all will be fine and you’re not alone, but... There are hugs you only think of... Who knows what “they” would think of it? Not that it matters, not to me at least...

The lights are coming closer and you’re slipping away...

I am so calm, powerful... I am not alone and I feel hope again. And that’s always been how you’ve made me feel...

Until next time dear companion, dear friend, D...