Tuesday 6 May 2014

Private Investigations

     Today is a day like any other and yet I felt like sharing some thoughts with you.
      I am 20 yo but I feel like I'm soon to go on pension. It sounds funny when I reread it, but it's a sad smile that it brings on my face.
     Life is joyful, fun, speedy and with no worries when in 20's- at least that's what they all say. So why doesn't it feel like this then? The answer is simple "You've got problems in your head, girl". Do I? Maybe...
     I just wish to remember how is that to be young, that's all.
     I want to make stupid mistakes and to laugh about them the next day and I want to feel happy about stupid things like a new, fantastic cake I've tried or because of a super hot pair of shoes or about an exam I've passed, or a nice game I won, or maybe a cool date I've been on. Well, as depressing as it may sound, I don't feel any happiness about all those things, only sadness if they don't happen.
     What is this point I got to? I can't explain to myself, but I'm so tired of being sad, it's like I'm waiting for minutes, hours, days, years to pass faster so I could finally get a grave. So fuc*ing optimistic, right? Well, that's how it's been lately.
     Maybe it's a bad idea- this post, but it might be as well just another stupid thing to laugh about tomorrow, right?


"And what have you got at the end of the day?
What have you got to take away?
A bottle of whisky and a new set of lies
Blinds on the windows and a pain behind the eyes
Scarred for life - nocompensation
Private investigations."

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